Blessings, tests, struggles or what?

Somedays are good - some are ok. I'm so richly blessed with my family, church and friends. My biggest problem is sometimes I struggle with the "why" of different things that happen. They don't appear to be blessings, not even tests or struggles.....so what are these things. To explain, my younger children endure things that infuriate me. Why would you tell a child that they will never be successful because of where they live. Why would you let a child go w/o 3 meals a day, watch PG13/R movies & stay up late at night 1 or 2am. I know that God is on the throne & he's in control but my momma instincts kick in & I want to protect my children. I've had to learn with my older sons (Joseph & Justin) that sometimes they have to go through things to bring them to where God wants them. I can understand that they are adults. But with Kirsten & Douglas.....they are still minors & I'm supposed to protect them. God entrusted them into my care for a short time & I want to make sure that they have been taught/equipped with what they need to be servants for Christ. If you read this, please remember my children in your prayers....also pray that God will continue to give Gary & I the strength & discernment of how to handle these situations. Thanks!